Coffee made me do it!

I started drinking coffee at the age of twelve, needless to say I became an addict. Over the years I gained enough self-control to limit my intake to mornings only. My partner never drank coffee and told me he thought it was evil. A bit of an extreme point of view you might think. Stay with me, you’ll see that he had his reasons.

Coffee was my very first thought every morning. It lured me out of bed and look out if you got in the way of me making my first expresso. Until I had that first cup of coffee, the whole world could go to hell for all I cared. After my coffee I went back to being the nicest person in the world or at least the neighbourhood. There were quite a few coffee ‘incidents’ over the years but this one I’m about to tell, was the most revelatory for me and disturbing for him.

One beautiful, Sunday morning I walked into the kitchen as my partner was washing the dishes from the previous night’s dinner party. He was singing along to a chanting tape of Om Namah Shivaya as he was elbow deep in suds. I couldn’t stand chanting, it really set my teeth on edge, so I turned the tape off as I made my way to the expresso machine.

Uncharacteristically defiant, he turned the tape back on. This was a little disconcerting but nonetheless, I hit the stop button again. We glared at each other, as his finger hovered above the play button. I told him in my haughtiest tone, “there will be consequences” if he turned it back on. I mean, I gave him fair warning but this only spurred him on. He hit the play button with an exaggerated flourish and exclaimed “bring on the consequences lady”!

With a deftness I didn’t ordinarily have, I hit eject and ripped that tape out of the player. Temporarily possessed, I made my way to the window and hurled the tape out with all my might. I watched with glee as it clattered onto the roof of the bungalow next door. I took in the look of open-mouthed horror on my partner’s face with a sense of smug satisfaction. Then, I nonchalantly continued making my coffee as if nothing had happened!

After my caffeine hit tamed the beast within, I was appalled at my behaviour. What the hell – who was that crazy woman? I had to concede that my partner might be onto something. Not that coffee was evil as such but it seemed to bring out the worst in me.

So I switched to tea, Earl Grey to be precise. Two months later, I realised that I wasn’t anxious anymore. I’d suffered from morning anxiety my whole life or so it seemed and now it was completely gone! Obviously coffee doesn’t affect everyone that way. But if you have anxiety issues you might want to consider giving it up or switching to decaf – it could do wonders for your relationship!

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Photo Credit: Mike Kenneally via Unsplash

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11 thoughts on “Coffee made me do it!

    1. Haha, you might be right. I’ve recently taken up Kundalini Yoga and all the chanting reminded me of this incident from my past. I’m quite enjoying the Ra Ma Da Sa chant but I still can’t bear Om Namah Shivaya! 🙏

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  1. Great article! I love my coffee all day long. I guess I’m not like others when it comes to the “having to have that first cup”. I enjoy coffee. In fact, drink one of the strongest coffees on the market. But when I have gone through bouts of not drinking it, and never experienced the “coffee headache” or any withdrawal symptoms. Lucky I guess. By the way, I can totally see the scene you described–classic!

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    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it Dave. I started drinking coffee so young, I didn’t have the awareness that it was having a negative impact on me. By the time I did, I was in total denial – until this incident occurred. Some of us are just extra sensitive to caffeines affects. I’m glad you get to appreciate it without the side effects, you must have a robust nervous system. ☕️

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  2. Give up coffee? Are you kidding me? If I am late for something in the morning and no time for breakfast I grab my coffee and go: good for the day. You wouldn’t want to do that everyday, but if you don’t do drugs and never smoked, some “vice” has to be healthy. And it’s one of those legal vices that doesn’t have a long list of studies done to tell you the many ways it can kill you. Viva cafe!

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    1. Coffee does have medicinal qualities and many people, get to enjoy it without nasty side effects. But it turned me into the “coffee monster”. I see lots of blogs on WordPress by people suffering from anxiety. Perhaps some of them are caffeine sensitive like me, so I thought I’d share my story in case it benefits someone. I had no idea it was triggering anxiety in me until I gave it up. I do miss the taste though! ☕️

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      1. Not to belabour the point, but the trick to anything regarding their effects on one’s body is to simply do without for a time, see what changes occur. If none, as in my case for coffee – I can live without it and drink good, clean, filtered water instead and no negative effects. We’re all different!

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  3. Wow. You had a temper. I will not ask if you still have that partner.. Tea is good for you and I bet you are very glad that now you are a tea drinker. Green tea is very healthy or so they say.

    I was a coffee addict but I never just had to have that first cup. I had to stop coffee when I developed afib and to this day I still miss coffee. It helped curb my appetite, In four year I gained 10 pounds.

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